Since I’ve started taking photography, I’ve always thought about creating videos in parallel. Mainly to widen my skills and also to reach a wider audience - or at least that’s what Instagram and YouTube want me to think.

I’ve tried a couple of experiments, but they were isolated cases. In a way, I feel stuck or procrastinating. The ideas are there, but the execution is not.

I was reflecting on that after watching the video from my friend Niko. I admire his push and enthusiasm in trying to grow his audience. At the same time, it made me question myself. Why didn’t I do that? What’s blocking me?

The very first answer that comes out, and the one that most of the photographers will tell you, was that it’s hard to focus on both making photos and making videos at the same time. I’ve thought of a few workarounds to overcome that: having a DJI Nano attached to the camera and using the quick record button on my X-E5 to seamlessly grab a video after taking a photo.

But still, no video has been made or published so far.

The second answer was, what can I say that hasn’t already been said from the thousands of videos out there? Who am I to put myself out there in that way? This is my impostor syndrome kicking in mixed with my perfectionist side. I’m already embracing the “done is better than perfect” mentality in many aspects of my creation side, but in this case, the combo with the impostor syndrome is hitting harder on me.

Then, watching some videos on the flight to Athens, I had an epiphany. There is something deeper than the answers I told myself so far. They remain valid, but there is something at the core of myself that is the real reason, the elephant in the room that keeps me stuck on this topic: you need to plan your videos. You need a script, plan the topics, shot list, and so on. And I hate planning; it doesn’t come naturally to me.

The people that know me know that well. I love to flow, follow the natural flow of the events, and I build a strong resilience when things go in unexpected ways or there are drawbacks. That’s why street photography was the natural choice when I started my photography journey, because I can grab the camera and go out there without much planning. Life will always be there, with or without planning.

Doing the same with videos would end up with a ton of B-roll that might not make sense at the end of the day. That’s what happened so far.

I was able to compromise a bit with my documentary work. The friction was smaller. I plan the topics I want to cover, but then I still go with the flow. I bring my street attitude to it, and I can stay in “photography mode” without switching focus. And so far, so good.

Where I want to go with these words is that reflecting on your practice is also reflecting on yourself. Looking at what comes naturally during your creative work and the patterns that come out of it might tell you more about yourself than you think. Or, as it happened to me, knowing yourself could explain why something feels harder.

Said that, if you, like me, are struggling or feeling stuck with something, don’t beat yourself up. Be gentle and know you are not alone.